Special Girls

Caelen AND Addison fell asleep in the car on the way home from my Mom's on Monday, literally changing my whole life. One whole hour in the middle of the day brings sanity I never knew could exist, it's a respite so to speak. But enough about that...
After Caelen woke up she came in from the car in the garage for some lunch. As she's eating she asks for a napkin, which I promptly give her and then she says nothing. So to jokingly remind her of her manners I spouted off with the well-worn joke, "Thanks Mom, you're the best!!"
She just stared into oblivion. I said, "No?" She just stared.
A full minute later, still staring somewhere over my right shoulder she says in such a sincere but exhausted voice, "Mommy you are the best, i just don't know if i can say it right now."

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Once her energy returned and she was bouncing off the walls she melted my heart with, "Mommy, I just like you in my heart."

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Little Miss Addison enjoys the rocking horse pictured in the last blog and now when she gets on it she actually begins to rock it herself. If you're playing a game with her and you stop, she tries to get it going again. I'm sorry but when did this child grow into a toddler.

And if that wasn't enough she said her first word on Tuesday. "Up." She was crawling around and making the "Pppp" sound, so I asked her to say Up and she said, "AH-Pppp" I was so excited. An hour later my Mom comes to me carrying her and says that Addison tried to say Up again to her, but she said, "Pppp - AH". LOL!

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I have mentioned before that Caelen's sweet teacher Miss Shannon has a skin cancer on her face that she's in the process of treating. On Monday Caelen received a card in the mail from Miss Shannon thanking Caelen for praying for her "owie" and saying it will be better soon and that Caelen is one of God's special children. We put it on the fridge so that we would always remember to be praying for Miss Shannon.

This morning while I'm doing morning dishes, I look over and see Caelen with her head leaned up against the fridge and her hands covering her face. She was mumbling quietly into her hands, then she leaned back and said, "Hey-Man!" You guessed it! I said, "Whatcha doing baby, you praying?" She said, "Yep!" "For who baby?" "Miss Shannon's owie."

Photos of the Week

I apologize for the quality of these photos. I don't know if toddlers handling cameras can affect the performance, but I have to wonder if one too many falls to the floor are compromising my camera?....

She looks so old in this pic, but she holds on like a big girl and I bounce her up and down. She just loves it and is even climbing over to try and get on it now.

Here's my sugar bean, but don't let her hear me calling her that because she'll make sure you understand she's not a Sugar Bean, she's a Caelen.

This past week Addie began greeting me after naps just like this. Oh I just love it, it makes my heart melt!

Today at lunch Caelen and I were clapping along with the radio and having a great time when all of a sudden Addison puts her little hands together and begins to clap in her high chair! She was very deliberate about it, it looked like it took every ounce of concentration for her to get those hands to obey, but she kept doing it! We praised her and got so excited as she practised over and over. Then Caelen was really proud when I told her she taught Addison how to clap (well she did, Addie was watching her the whole time, I'm pretty sure!)

Glad I didn't say, "Give her a bite."

So Addison is in her high chair while Caelen is enjoying her popsicle in the chair next to her, and they're staring at each other. Caelen asks, "Mommy, can I give Addison a bite of my popsicle?" I reply, with my back turned on them while I do the dishes, "Well... not a bite honey, but you can give her a lick."
Yes, my friends, I turn just in time to see Caelen lick her sister from chin to nose. She then turns to me, just a little confused and asks, "But Mommy, how is she going to eat the popsicle?"

Her Imagination Amazes Me

Caelen (crying in her carseat because she couldn't reach a toy): Raindrops fall from our eyes Mommy, just like the clouds.

Caelen: When I grow up, I'm gonna be a Jumbo Jet!!!!
Me: REALLY??
Caelen: No, a firefighter.

One of Caelen's most favorite Sunday school teachers recently starting treating some skin cancer on her face. The topical cream should do the trick but it's an obvious"Owie". In the meantime one of Caelen's favorite pretend games to play with me is Sunday School. She's the teacher and socks are usually the felt pieces that go on the board to tell a story. So one day, as proper and serious as can be Miss Caelen looks at her "class", puts a hand to her face and says, "I know you all see this owie on my face, but it's gonna be okay. Sometimes it itches." Then she got down to the serious business of teaching.

I'm just not the source of all things

When I have a day like yesterday I have to ask myself, "What is the problem"? Let's get to the bottom of this. Why am I so impatient with the simplest request, like for a juice cup refill? Why can't I handle one more spill on the ground, and why am I feeling like this raging monster inside is about to jump out at my children and scare the crap out of them, not to mention scar them for the rest of their lives and give them plenty to tell their therapist one day?
Then I realize that that "one more spill on the ground" happens in the bathroom while I'm trying to get a little privacy to do my business and theres an ankle biter crawling around my feet, tugging at my legs and crying because she wants me to hold her hands and walk with her all day. And now, the one responsible for spilling my iced tea is taking her clothes off and throwing them everywhere while I begging her to get a towel to clean up the massive puddle that her sister is about to crawl through.
The juice cup is being asked for while I'm right in the middle of a nursing session and when I say it'll be a minute, the whining starts in. And the laundry has been sitting in the living room waiting patiently just to be sorted for 3 days because I literally haven't had a moment without 5 different demands from a child on it.
Then I realize, my Caelen is not the type of child who can play by herself, or even be by herself at all. I have to go pee with her, I have to go to her room with her, I have to look for her juice cup in the playroom with her. If I tell her to go by herself, she starts The Dance. The one where the feet stomp back and forth, the breathing gets panicked and all the excuses started flooding out in an ever-increasingly hysterical voice. This drives me so nuts I'd go to Antarctica for a juice cup just to make it stop.
So Caelen is always there. While I feed Addison, she's climbing on my chair and up my back. While I nurse Addison, she's jumping on the couch 2 inches away. While I go potty she's sitting on the edge of the bathtub staring at me. I find myself racing away down the hall while she's distracted, hoping I can do any task without her following after me and asking what I'm doing. She's usually hot on my heels.
So add to that a 7 1/2 month old baby who is literally only happy one of two ways: eating (which requires much preperation and attention on my part) and using my hands to walk herself around the house. She literally crawls around the house bawling because she just wants someone to walk with her. Aside from my new chronic backache, I can't multitask while doing it! I can't pay attention to Caelen at the same time, or fill any other request, while both my hands are occupied and I'm hunched over to the ground. And don't stick Addie on a walker, or push toy, she knows what you're trying to do and it just makes her mad!
This was my day yesterday. All those examples happened and I was about to hyperventalate, or run away, or pretend I was deaf. Something, anything to get a breath.
Then, a miracle.... Caelen was playing with her Littlest Pet Shop and Addison was at an activity table and both were engrossed. I sneaked away and began to sort laundry. The only sounds coming from the play room were happy, contented sounds and I began to breathe: nice, long, deep breaths.
I only got the laundry sorted. Chaos broke out after 5 minutes, but what a blessed 5 minutes!! I got a breather, they gave me a moment. Just one and I soaked it up. And it was then that I realized, I just needed a second to miss my kids. If I could have little stolen 5 minute segments interspersed throughout the day, I'd probably be okay.
When people look back at these days (like I one day will) and sigh and say, "I wish I had those days back, " or "I wish I'd enjoyed it more," or any manner of things that make those of us in the moment wonder what's wrong with us that we're about to go nuts, they need to remember that IT WAS CONSTANT. It never ended. If you're longing for those days, then you've probably had a long breather and are thinking you could take on some more. I would be too, but right now, I never get a breather. The demands are never ending, emotionally and physically. Soon, you're running on empty and have no recharging station in site and then days like yesterday happen.

My recharging station is not a bubble bath, or a movie date or extra sleep although all those things are wonderful, they ultimately don't get me through a day like yesterday. My recharging station is getting in the Word and I had not done it the night before as I had a million other demands on that time. So I woke up the next morning depleted already. I knew what the problem was and last night I spent 1 1/2 hours in the Word and study. I'm just that weak folks. I can't do an ounce of this on my own strength! I gotta have the Spirit's power and that's just the truth. So I've prayed over today, I've blogged about yesterday to purge it from my system and I think we're ready to go. Bring it on. I wasn't made to be the meeter of every need anyway, He was.

Pictures and Peek-A-Boo

While visiting with my girlfriends and oblivious to anything but diaster in the backyard where the children were playing, Caelen ran up to me and handed me my camera, kinda like she was saying, "Here's your camera back mom." So I turned that puppy on and found 68 pictures just like this:

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Okay, tell me that's not the sweetest picture you've ever seen! She still takes the prize for the happiest baby even though she's super grump trying to learn to get around on her own. She's quick to forget frustrations and offense and returns to her normal self (smiley & laughing) almost instantly.

My ham! She's getting so big and smart. She got her first patch from Awanas at church and her teachers tell me she is just so well-behaved, well mannered, polite, a good sharer and quiet! Go figure that last one....

Addison never crawled so fast to date as when she saw the first fire of the season in our fireplace. She crawled half way across the living room in a matter of about 30 seconds and crawled right up. Caelen wanted to know what all the fuss was about, but of course she's been a fire lover her entire life as well. Both girls spent their first months often in front of a fire watching it's hypnotizing effects.

And now a new skill - Peek-A-Boo!