It's no pizza but it'll have to do.

When your baby starts looking at you like this

when she sees you eating dinner, and she watches your every movement from your plate to your mouth while drool pours down her front and down to her pants you begin to wonder if it might be a good time to start solid food.
So you do.

Addie's first rice cereal was super watery (how they recommend it for the first time) but she quickly got the hang of slurping it off the spoon, even though at least half of the 5 Tbsp of substance ended up on the ineffective bib and therefore her shirt. She enjoyed herself and had a good long nap on a full belly afterward.

The Heart of a Child

Two days ago I was putting laundry away in my room and Caelen was bouncing around with me, chattering away. All of a sudden she hits her leg pretty hard on the metal bed frame and says in a slightly pained voice,
"Ohh.... Jesus can you please help me?"
It wasn't meant for me to hear necessarily but it made my heart almost burst.

Speak Up Addie!

I have been trying all day to capture these squeals on video. Finally on the 5th try I got some good ones. When she smiles and squeals, she's pulling her legs up underneath her! Just precious. And pardon the loud noise in the back ground, Caelen is taking a bath :)

Jasmine's Wedding

Caelen has been waiting months for this day, the day she could wear her princess dress and shoes. The special ones her Grandma Faith bought her for Thomas's stepsister's wedding.

After a busy rehersal on the front lawn of Bob & Faith's beautiful property complete with redneck cousins and gale force winds so intense you couldn't hear the stereo system, we had a lovely dinner at Jasmine & Johnny's house and went home to rest before the wedding.

Of course Caelen didn't sleep so well that night and so on the way to the wedding she fell asleep in the car. I let her sleep there for 2 hours. When I got her a sandwich and was heading out of the house to go wake her up I ran into her in the garage checking out the new puppy that had travelled up with relatives. She didn't seem too concerned that she had woken up alone at Grandma & Grandpa's.

No wedding is complete without a last minute crisis, but being that this is the first time the bride ever wore makeup and she didn't even try her dress on after my mom altered it, I guess it was less of a crisis and more of a minor problem. She's not the crisis kind. My mom made these straps for her dress and since this was the first time she had put it on since, they were a good 1 1/2 inches too long! Half an hour before the wedding I was using a way too small needle to sew through way too thick fabric the reduce the length of her straps. All went well luckily!

Caelen's favorite part of everything was probably the fact that she had "cousins." Thomas's step brother Elijah and his family came up from Arizona. We had last seen the girls when we went to Colorado almost a year ago.

Uncle Josh and his new girlfriend were there and Caelen finally wamred up to poor CeCe after telling her to go away quite a few times.

And of course there was plenty of dancing. Caelen had multiple dance partners including me, Uncle Josh, her cousin Lilia, and a little five year old boy she had never met before!

I kept wondering when Better Homes and Garden was going to pull up to do the cover shoot for their magazine. Faith's yards were perfectly wonderful and the wedding couldn't have been more beautiful. Being at a relative's house made it comfortable, easy, fun and intimate. Having a bedroom to nurse Addie in, or knowing where to go find the Tylenol for my killer headache was nice. I also spent the whole wedding barefoot and Caelen and the girls got to watch Little Mermaid. Definitely a great wedding.

A Week of Firsts & Photos

It seems like babies don't do much for the first 3 1/2 months of their lives and then they hit about 4 months and BAM! they've got something new going on everyday. So here are some of Addie's "Firsts" this past week or so.


After being dropped on her head a couple of times we decided a less vulnerable position for Addison is probably preferable, so out came the walker! She really enjoys it and is a lot more portable (without breaking Mommy's back in the Baby Bjorn around the house) since we can put her on the grass, the patio, and in any room and I'm not afraid of Caelen getting her or Woodrow trampling her.

That's watermelon. First, let me say, if you're not a mom (or are) try not to judge other moms. When Caelen was about 5 months old we went to visit family on they're 100 acre ranch near Arcata. Thomas' cousin was about to get married and we met her and her 2 girls (about 4 years and 3 months old, her husband had died while she was pregnant). We were picnicking and I was trying watermelon with 5 month old Caelen, then I saw this woman trying it with her 3 1/2 month old and thought, "How dangerous! I would never do that!! She's too little." OK, so here's Addie at 3 1/2 months old......

She loved it by the way. Nice and sweet ;)

For her next trick, Addison held her own bottle through most of her feeding a couple of days ago which was really convenient as I was trying to get out of the house for a girl's night out, Thomas was making dinner and Caelen needed a new diaper. I changed Caelen right next to wonder baby while she just sipped away.

And here's her first haircut. It's a couple months earlier than Caelen's first haircut but we have a wedding to go to this weekend (and with Caelen we were going to Hawaii). Auntie Heather gave her an awesome little pixie cut. I just wanted the bangs trimmed but Heather worked on the sides and the back as well. It's very flattering and of course she didn't care what was being done.

**********************

Which leads me to Caelen's haircut and other random photos from this week that have nothing to do with Addie's Firsts.

We had to coax her with a little bowl of jelly beans and she said she was a little scared but she was pretty willing and it wasn't much of a battle. She did really good once she was in the seat. Of course I had prepped her all day and she kept telling everyone, "Auntie's coming to cut our hair off."

My little angel has been getting better and better about sleeping through the night, almost 11 hours a few times. But in the mornings (whether it's 4:00am or 7:00am) I bring her into bed to feed her and cuddle her and she sometimes falls back asleep until 8 or so. I don't think it gets anymore precious than that really.

Here's her outfit on Wednesday for her doctor's appointment (and swimming at Ty's and haircuts with Auntie.) The hat got a lot of compliments around town.

And sisters playing together in the play room, which is just what they're doing right now as I write this. As Addison gets older it just gets more fun.

Heart reflections from one frazzled Mama

I can't help but ask myself, what have I gotten myself into? And there's absolutely no going back. I just am not sure I have what it takes, day in and day out. Yes, I'm talking about being a Mommy.
I keep trying to tell myself that someday they'll be older and more reasonable (i.e. not doing a headstand in front of Target while crying hysterically because I asked her to hold my hand while we crossed the parking lot.) I try to give myself the benefit of the doubt (I mean, a strong willed 2 year old and a teething infant, come on.) I try to encourage myself that everyone's been there and they just are forgetting how hard it was, we always tend to only remember the good after all. I hear people saying, "Oh but they're only this little once!" and I'm thinking, "Heck yes! And empty nest doesn't sound too bad either!"
I love my girls with my whole heart that there's not room left for much else, I promise you that. Like when Caelen thanked me tonight before she fell asleep for cleaning her room (I did it while she bathed and didn't know she even noticed!) or when Addison is fussing and I come over and she stops and gives me the biggest grin and wiggle ever! There's nothing to top those moments because you can almost physically feel your heart being wrung out. No one can make you feel what your kids can.
But when the house wakes up at 5:30am to Caelen screaming bloody murder because her diaper has leaked and she needs to be changed completely and put back to bed, and I return to bed to find Addison wide awake and ready to party, and when she finally does fall back asleep at 7:30 that's the moment Caelen waltzes out of her room for the day; it's those days, right around 3:00pm when now everyone is melting and Thomas isn't home yet and I'm screaming "Don't take your own diaper off!!" for the millionth time that I think, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I think, there's not a breath of energy left in me to go one more hour let alone 18 more years. It's a game of survival until 7:30pm when hopefully everyone is asleep (and if they're not, oh boy!) and then I can mentally and physically relax, listen to the sound of no one saying, "Mommy! Mommy mommy!!" and eat an Oreo without sharing it. I can turn on the TV without it being Little Einsteins, drink a glass of wine (not "juice") and form a complete thought in my head. I live for those evenings, for showers, computer time, or just sitting.
But you know what, at the end of that evening when the house is shut down and I'm about to crawl into bed, every night we go in and look at those girls sleeping, rearrange the covers and move hair out their faces, and I take in the sight of a motionless Caelen, or a sleeping-but-sucking-on-an-invisible-pacifier Addison and I think, "Lord, I love these girls You've given me, thank You for them and thank You for another day to be their Mommy." And I really mean it, and that's when I know what I've gotten myself into and that I really wouldn't rather be doing anything else.

The June Bug

Ah June! The sun is shining, the air is warm and we've left flu season in the dust. Oh wait..... none of that is true. This past weekend saw me and Caelen on the couch with 101.5 fevers (and as I write this it's barely 70 degrees and cloudy.)
Friday night I knew it was coming. My body started aching first which really had me worried I was getting old fast. But then came the next symptoms. My eyes and throat felt warm (Thomas doesn't understand this description, he doesn't know how your eyes can feel warm ;) I took my temp and sure enough. Then the chills, the headache, worse body aches and I just felt like crap. Then when Caelen began waking with nightmares every couple of hours I knew she had it too.
So Saturday we watched 4 movies and about 25 cartoons while we lay together on the couch. Caelen was so sweet and cuddly, inbetween crying spells, but I couldn't blame her, I knew exactly how she felt!
Then Addison got a little fever, but I think we're adding up her other symptoms and chalking that up to teething.

By Monday we were recovered and this is what you do after you feel better. Make sandcastles with pretty tops :)

I hope this has no lasting effects

Alright I am really on a roll these days, in a bad way, or maybe Addison is, I don't know, either way, I'm praying this quits or someone might send CPS after me ;)
A couple days ago I propped Addison up on the couch. She likes to sit, so I propped her up for 1 second, so I could look at the calendar on my fridge about 10 steps away. I heard a huge THUD and then Addison start wailing! I ran hysterically back to find her on the ground on her back inbetween the couch and the coffee table with only a thin oriental rug between her head and the hardwood. Oh she cried and cried and it was the saddest thing, it about broke my heart! After dousing myself in a sufficient amount of mommy guilt, "It's all my fault", "How could I do this to her?" "I'm an awful Mommy," things calmed down and we all felt better.
Until tonight....
So I'm putting Caelen to bed by myself (Thomas is speaking at church) and I have Addie in the room too so we can all read books (yes I read to my 3 month old and she looks at the pictures). Well there's this HUGE dilemma because we can't find the Yellow Bauchie (see previous post). So I lay Addison on Caelen's sleeping bag with her head comfortably on her pillow. Caelen is far away sorting through her stuffed animals, and I figure I can do a quick search. I come out into the living room, pop outside to bring in a ball so that Woodrow won't eat it, jump back into the house and am greeted by Addison's screams. I run down the hall and find Addison about 3 feet from where I had set her (almost completely out of the room and most certainly not on the sleeping bag anymore) and she is just mad, sad etc. She's wailing and Caelen is in her sleeping bag, right where Addison used to be. I pick Addie up, demand what had happened and Caelen says, "I don't want Addison on my pillow."
I don't know how it happened but all I do know is Caelen is not gentle with her baby dolls but she has never attempted to pick up Addison before. At least this time Addison stopped crying much quicker so I'm guessing she either had a shorter fall or the carpet cushioned her landing or both.
I made it pretty darn clear that if she ever picked up her sister again.....
OK, so I think we need to be done with the irresponsible mommy accidents. LOL!!

Johnny Jump Up

Look at my beautiful girl!!

She's so noisy! I think she makes more noise than Caelen ever did at this age. She "talks" up a storm quite a bit. And the laughing is getting more refined. She loves her Papa right now and he can get her to laugh really easily.

I put her in the Johnny Jump up for the first time this past week. She seemed to like it as is evidenced by the smile.

And here's another little nugget I once knew enjoying the Jump Up a little over 2 years ago.
Kind of brings a tear to the eye, I don't hardly remember that baby. She's my big girl now!

First Laugh Ever!

On our way out the door Thomas began tickling Addison and we noticed she was making different noises than her usual. Finally we realized she was laughing! I grabbed my camera and caught a few good ones. Enjoy!

Yeah, I'd call murder pretty serious!

My first call for jury duty and I get a murder trial! Of course I got excused since I'm a nursing stay at home mom and have no one in my life whose bored enough to watch my kids 4 days a week for 3 weeks. We didn't wait too long before the judge came in and swore us all in and then informed us that this was a serious trial. After he dropped the "M" bomb and my head stopped spinning, my heart slowed down and I could hear again, I realized it was imperative that I got out of this thing!
But then after being left to think about it for hours on end I started thinking it might be interesting. I knew I couldn't do it, between my kids, my conference at the end of June, and the fact that I have been a victim of a violent crime, there was no way I was gonna be on that jury. But part of me thought, "How slightly facsinating."
We were ordered to the court room to watch part of the jury selection which was a very interesting process. I already didn't like the defense attorney. He was smarmy and off-putting in his mannerisms, almost rude. The prosecuting attorney was a nice looking man with a much kinder way about him. It's amazing how fast these biases start forming! They were dismissing jurors left and right. (Between Monday and today they had called over 1000 jurors!) But since it was a street gang murder, anyone who knew anything about gangs, had relatives in law enforcement, or lived near the park in Sonoma where the deed went down got dimissed almost immediately. The judge didn't even look at our hardship forms until 4:30 (we filled them out at 1:30) but let almost all of us go.
Here's a link to a quick article about the murder. We were going to be trying Mr. Perez, the alleged shooter. Glad to know that ultimately this was not meant to be for me. It's all fine and good when it's actors on CSI, but in real life.... I'm not so sure.
http://sonomasun.thmm.com/?p=1910