Doing better

Thanks everyone for all your encouraging comments and E-mails after my last blog. It's always good to know you're not alone :) With the colds being recovered from and the weather getting nicer all our attitudes have gotten better, and Caelen is having "quiet time" right now Becky. LOL!

Here's my "Little Mama" today. Yes, that's the breast pump.

And here she is showing Addison her baby doll.





Here's a cheesy (all-around!) grin.

And here's a precious shot from a couple night ago.

Today Caelen got bit by one of my Mom and Dad's chihuahuas because she was pestering the poor dog non-stop and he had a treat he really wanted to eat. We've discussed not bothering the dogs before and this time it came back to bite her in the.... face. Better a chihuahua just warning her than a bigger dog really mad. So that was a little bloody.
Then at home she smacked her toe with the BBQ tool and cut her toe. After a band-aid and some medicine she kept saying that her toe hurt. I was comforting her a bit and then she said, "Jesus can help me Mama."

WANTED: Sanity

I once read that having children is like being pecked to death by a duck. I finally understood exactly what that meant this past weekend as the culmination of exhaustion from no sleep for months, my toddler giving up her naps, two sick and cranky kids, and a 6 day work week for my husband finally caught up with me. If I heard "Mommy? Mama? Mom? What's this? Where you going? Where are you? Why Mom?" one more time I thought I might twist off completely.

Now those of you who know me well know my dry and sarcastic sense of humor and won't be taken aback by such statements as the above, but rather will just laugh. That's my intention. I love my children more than anything, but I seriously have never come as close to a nervous breakdown as I did this weekend. I felt like I went up to the edge of insanity and looked over. The grace of God pulled my twitching body back.

The reason it's like a duck pecking me over and over, or like Chinese Water Torture is because it never ends. My toddler is with me 24/7. She doesn't always sleep through the night and needs either more juice, snuggles, or a diaper change. In the car she screams, cries and kicks because it's too bright outside (even if she has her sunglasses on and her blankie over her head!) She doesn't nap anymore, she follows me to the bathroom, into the shower, or into any room that I go to without her, talking the entire time. The questions never end and she doesn't like to play by herself. When I'm feeding Addison, like I do every 3 hours, Caelen is right there next to me playing with her sister or asking me questions. If I leave a room to get something she hops right up and follows saying "Mommy where you going?" "What you doing?" After she's in bed, Addison has her witching hour and usually cries or is fussy for an hour. Then it's all night trying to keep her asleep and fed, only to wake up too early the next morning with my toddler yelling from her room, "Mommy! Change my diaper!"
My thought is if she could give me just a couple minutes to miss her, I'm sure I would, but I never get the chance. God bless her little heart she's a good kid. I know I'm just exhausted and still making the transition, and Lord knows some children require more maintainence than others.
But somehow I've regained a little control, and we've survived Monday, and Papa is on his way home as I write this. YAY!


Yesterday as Thomas was cleaning the garage, the household cleaners, which are usually kept up on the garage refridgerator were on the ground. I went out to get some ingredients for dinner, and you must know by now that Caelen was right behind me. I asked her to help me carry some cans in, she declined the oppurtunity, so I grabbed a couple more and looked just in time to see her squirt Fantastik house cleaner into her eye.
We rushed in and began flooding her eye and face with water. Thomas had to hold her down. When it was all done and she wasn't crying but more like whimpering and didn't scream if I asked her if anything hurt we figured she was good. She looked at us and said, "I won't do that again." We just had to laugh!

A Toddler's Spree

A great big thanks to Great Grandma Gerry who sent the girls each Target gift cards to do a little shopping. Addison wasn't in the shopping mood today ;) but Caelen was super excited once she realized it wasn't going to be the usual "let's look at toys" where I let her play with whatever but it all has to go back on the shelves. It took her a little while to realize she could actually put it in the cart and take it home. I let her pick whatever, and this my friends is what my 2 year old picks when allowed to take "anything" home from Target.

A dinosaur watering can (very cool I think!), a ball, a new baby, and yes those are the little pills you put in hot water that turn into sponge dinosaurs. She was very happy with all her purchases and an hour later has used all of them already. Currently she's in the garden watering peas with her papa.

This morning while getting ready to go out to the park with friends, Caelen came into the bathroom while I was doing my hair to inform me that Addison was poopy and needed a new diaper. I told her okay but to wait for me, I'd be there in a minute. 5 minutes later I came out into the living room to this:

She had undone her jammies, the old diaper was folded up on the coffee table with a bunch of used wipes and she was using another wipe on her bum. Luckily it WASN'T a poopy diaper! So I just told her good job and helped her finish up. Little mama.



Here's the past week or so in pictures:

(Yes she's reading to "my baby sister!")

Addison's first day at church in the same outfit Caelen wore on her first day. I'm not that nostolgic, it's just the only "nice" newborn outfit we have :)

In other news I need to start putting two and two together. We were meeting friends at a park in RP yesterday that's across the street and down a couple blocks from the high school. Helicopters were flying over the entire time we were there (our friends were late so we played for about half an hour waiting for them.) When our friends got there a lady and her teenage daughter walked up to us and the mom said her daughter went to the high school but she had taken her out for a doctor's apt (I'm thinking, OKay.......) and she wanted us to know that the high school was on lock down because someone was running around with a gun. Okay, that explains the police helicopters circling for an hour. DUH....

Obviously we left. Turns out it was a student at the school. I told my girlfriends they should always stick with me in a situation like that since I've already had a gun to my head and what are the chances that a suburban girl from Northern CA have 2 run ins with gun toting maniacs? LOL!

Before you get on your high horse :)

This morning I got up early, made Thomas's lunch (for the first time since Addison's birth), got the corned beef and cabbage going in the crock pot, got my work done and got to my friend's house EARLY for a visit. When she found out I had dinner cooking away at home she asked me how I did it all with two kids? I started to feel pretty good, like hey maybe I'm figuring this whole thing out! Then I got home ( 3 hours before dinner time) and saw that the crock pot hadn't been plugged in......

While we were supposedly putting this dinner together, Caelen was helping me. I would read the recipe, put the items out and she dumped them into the crock pot. When I told her we were done, she wasn't satisfied. Knowing something must be missing she took a glance at the recipe and said, "Hmm... next we need some..... FRENCH FRIES!"

It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for...

I didn't think it could be done but Addison rolled from her tummy to her back a full week before Caelen accomplished this feat. I'm not trying to compare my kids, but Caelen was SO early at everything that I thought it a given that Addison (and every other child in the world) would do things on a more "normal" time schedule. But Addison decided she's not going to be outdone LOL!
I put her in her crib this morning to nap. We're learning that she is very sensitive to overstimulation. Last night she had a cry-fest that lasted a good hour and there was nothing obviously wrong. Thomas swaddled her, put her binky in and we turned the TV off for some peace and quiet and she finally settled right down. It's no wonder because she has a very loving big sister constantly up in her face saying HI! in a loud toddler voice. I'm not going to discourage any sweet displays of love and affection from Caelen to her little sister, but I think it gets to be a bit much for Addie.
Anyway, all that to say, I set her in her crib this morning so she could get away from it all. And yes, I put her on her tummy because that's how she sleeps best (I know, you can save the lectures). I went in to check on her about 15 minutes later and there she is laying on her back in the "fencing" position (where they have their heads turned to one side and the hand behind their head is curved up as if to touch the back of their head, and the arm in front is straight out.) She was peacefully staring at the blanket draped over her crib and hadn't made a sound. It took me a few seconds to realize what she had done at 3weeks & 2 days old.





Addison's first official outing was for Austin Bishop's first birthday party. Caelen's frist official outing was for Tyler Bishop's (Austin's older brother's) first birthday party. Addison was 9 days old. Caelen was 10 days old. We seriously couldn't have planned our kids like that if we wanted! But here are some pictures from Austin's party.


Cupcakes! Yum

Courtney and I, always pregnant and with babies at the same time. Again, can't plan it but always works out that way.

After a typical crying spell in her carseat which she hates, whether the car is moving or not, she baaaahhh's like a sheep and drowns in her cry. It's sad, but what can you do?

My apologies to anyone who didn't get a true birth announcement. These suckers were super expensive but I just loved them so I ended up sending them primarily to family really. But here is a picture of it. I took these pictures when she was 9 days old, that was the exact same age Caelen was when I took hers.

And this was Caelen's birth announcement picture. I think the two pics where the girls have their eyes open, it looks like it could be the same baby, even though they're so distinct in person. They definitely look like sisters.

And now just for fun!

Caelen got a wagon for her first birthday party, and so did Austin, so we took these pictures. The first one was taken 1 year and 2 months before the second one. Same kids, with the addition of Austin who wasn't around back then. Baby Daniel Porter and Addison didn't make it into the shot.

Getting there.

Yesterday while sitting on the couch together reading a book Caelen puts her arm around my shoulders, pats me and says, "You're my best friend ever mama." This illicited multiple kisses and "I love you"s from me of course!

I think things have gotten better the past couple of days with regards to the girls. Most the time I still feel like I'm operating at maximum capability. Definitely keeping those plates spinning all day long. But I'm so thankful that Addison is still proving herself to be a mellow child who loves to sleep. She cries if she's hungry, has to go potty, or gets bored while awake. The solution to all of these senarios is either feed her, or hold her and pat her back. She usually falls asleep during either activity and her crying jags have so far probably not lasted more than one minute. On the other hand I remember being up at 3:00 am swaying back and forth with a screaming Caelen while patting her back and praying to the Lord above that she would just STOP! Addison has absolutley been an easy baby so far and I know that God only gives us what we can handle. If my patience and endurance for children were a pie chart, Caelen already took up 95% of it before Addison came. He knows this, and is merciful.

My pain is still a constant energy drainer and I'm getting impatient to feel back to normal. I KNOW it didn't take this long with my first C-section recovery. I think I must just be overdoing it, but I really don't see how I'm supposed to lay on the couch for 3 weeks and do nothing. I'm a wife, mother, homemaker and part time worker for crying out loud and that stuff doesn't just stop for weeks on end because of a little abdominal pain. Hopefully next week I'll notice a difference.

Well I have a little bug calling to me from her room to come rub her back and sing our songs: Wonder Pets, Jesus Loves Me, Twinkle Twinkle and Frosty the Snowman, like we do every night. Then I'll turn on her heater, tell her night night, shut the door...... and 10 minutes later she'll be screaming bloody murder for me to come back in. Oh well, it sounded cute and idealistic at first huh?

I'll be back

When my life isn't like working triage, I'll post another blog. :) Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about it.
A couple updates:
Caelen counted from 1-13 multiple times today without missing a number.
Addison got oinment for her eye goop that's been going on for over a week. Apparently the congestion in little ones noses can back up into their tear ducts.
My house is a disaster, right now I'm waiting for the smoke from the oven to clear out of the house.
I love and live off of chocolate.
I need to get to Target in a bad way!

I guess you can guess which one wins though.

I've been pondering recently the human condition that allows me to simultainiously feel two very conflicting emotions both equally as strong as the other. I feel totally blessed by the arrival of Addison! I'm so happy she's here and healthy and beautiful, happy not to be pregnant anymore. I love to hold her, smell her newborn smell and even listen to the bah-ing cry of a brand new life. I'm blessed by my spunky and fun 2 year old who says she loves me and gives wonderful hugs and kisses. She's smart and creative and fun to watch grow. My husband is a huge light in my life and I love him more as the days and years go on.
And at the exact same time I'm fighting every urge to hop on a plane to Mexico and sip Margaritas by the Carribean and never come back....
;)