Missing one girl but so enjoying the other.

I don't know how many people (maybe 8) that I've run into this weekend who have asked me when I'm due and when I told them six weeks they were truly shocked. Okay, EVERY person who has asked me recently thinks that I'm due any day because of how huge this belly is. (The picture above was taken OVER a month ago!) The most common reaction is a dropped jaw.
This is actually no consolation for me as I'm feeling huge anyway and impatient, so to have it confirmed that I am massive and should be giving birth any day, doesn't make me feel better! ;) The waddle is ridiculous. And today in church when I dropped my pen on the ground while sitting in the pew, I said, "Aww man!!!" a little too loudly and had to ask Thomas to do some interesting contortions to get it for me.
So 6 weeks. The thing about this stage of pregnancy is that you're kind of in a catch-22 situation. You desperately don't want to be pregnant anymore (unless you're one of those people who LOVES being pregnant, in which case I don't have any clue what planet you're from and so your opinion doesn't count) but at the same time you're dealing with the trepidation one feels before they embark upon a journey of which they have no clue how anything is going to work out. Some days I'm terrified of her coming out (not scared of her, I've done babies before, nervous about having two, I've never had a toddler AND a baby before) but that "terror" drains away the moment I realize that would mean staying pregnant and there is no way I'd sign up for that.
But mostly I just want her here, want to see her and meet her and watch her grow. See the girls together and new relationships begin. See her own little personality begin to emerge and watch how she does things completely differently (or similarly) to the rest of us. So I think that yes, the being physically huge and unwieldy is annoying, but the thing that makes this stage of pregnancy the hardest, is missing a child you've never held but know that you will hold for the rest of your life, and you just can't wait to have them in your arms.



Switching subjects to the amazing world of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse: If you're not familiar with the show, you might not know that the correct way to call Santa (yes, like one would call a dog, or fairy godmother) is, "Santa Santa HO HO HO."
Caelen was saying this over and over in the car. She'd ask me or Thomas to say it occasionally. Then she says, (and I quote exactly) "Come on Mom, do it with me! Put your hands up and say, 'Santa Santa Ho Ho Ho!!'" I had tears streaming down my face, the enthusiasm over what she was saying was just hilarious. I had visions of her onstage trying to get a crowd all rallied up.

Crowd participation must be very important to her. When we picked her up from Sunday School all her teachers were telling us how during story time when they asked, "Who loved the thankful man?" Caelen looked around at her silent peers, threw her hands up in the air like a good Pentecostal and said, "Jesus!!"