I once read that having children is like being pecked to death by a duck. I finally understood exactly what that meant this past weekend as the culmination of exhaustion from no sleep for months, my toddler giving up her naps, two sick and cranky kids, and a 6 day work week for my husband finally caught up with me. If I heard "Mommy? Mama? Mom? What's this? Where you going? Where are you? Why Mom?" one more time I thought I might twist off completely.
Now those of you who know me well know my dry and sarcastic sense of humor and won't be taken aback by such statements as the above, but rather will just laugh. That's my intention. I love my children more than anything, but I seriously have never come as close to a nervous breakdown as I did this weekend. I felt like I went up to the edge of insanity and looked over. The grace of God pulled my twitching body back.
The reason it's like a duck pecking me over and over, or like Chinese Water Torture is because it never ends. My toddler is with me 24/7. She doesn't always sleep through the night and needs either more juice, snuggles, or a diaper change. In the car she screams, cries and kicks because it's too bright outside (even if she has her sunglasses on and her blankie over her head!) She doesn't nap anymore, she follows me to the bathroom, into the shower, or into any room that I go to without her, talking the entire time. The questions never end and she doesn't like to play by herself. When I'm feeding Addison, like I do every 3 hours, Caelen is right there next to me playing with her sister or asking me questions. If I leave a room to get something she hops right up and follows saying "Mommy where you going?" "What you doing?" After she's in bed, Addison has her witching hour and usually cries or is fussy for an hour. Then it's all night trying to keep her asleep and fed, only to wake up too early the next morning with my toddler yelling from her room, "Mommy! Change my diaper!"
My thought is if she could give me just a couple minutes to miss her, I'm sure I would, but I never get the chance. God bless her little heart she's a good kid. I know I'm just exhausted and still making the transition, and Lord knows some children require more maintainence than others.
But somehow I've regained a little control, and we've survived Monday, and Papa is on his way home as I write this. YAY!
Yesterday as Thomas was cleaning the garage, the household cleaners, which are usually kept up on the garage refridgerator were on the ground. I went out to get some ingredients for dinner, and you must know by now that Caelen was right behind me. I asked her to help me carry some cans in, she declined the oppurtunity, so I grabbed a couple more and looked just in time to see her squirt Fantastik house cleaner into her eye.
We rushed in and began flooding her eye and face with water. Thomas had to hold her down. When it was all done and she wasn't crying but more like whimpering and didn't scream if I asked her if anything hurt we figured she was good. She looked at us and said, "I won't do that again." We just had to laugh!
4 comments:
Oh, I hate when kids stop napping. Here is my bit of sanity advice: still make her have quiet time. My older kids don't nap, but they still have quiet time every day. I bought them a cheap kitchen timer, and they have to play, read books, color, whatever either in their room or in the basement until the timer goes off. We rarely even use the timer anymore, because they just get themselves involved in something for at least an hour on their own. It gives me a little breather in the afternoon so I can have my full patience to last me until bedtime. Maybe even get her a couple special toys or activities that are special "quiet time" activities so she has something to look forward to. Good luck. I have so been there . . . and still am sometimes!
Those days are so very hard. It doesn't help now, but the "puupy dog" phase as I call it does lose it's luster eventually. Not soon enough in my opinion. Myra is in that stage too. You are a fabulous mom and your kids are so blessed to have you teach them and nurture them. Keep up all your hard work. You are the best!
Melissa
Must be something in the air...last week and this weekend sent several people I know (including myself) close to that edge of insanity. It's exactly true what you said about them letting you have a chance to miss them.
"Dry and sarcastic sense of humor" ? Wonder where you got that??
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