Four Christmases (Part 1)

These past four days of Christmas brought hospice, eggnog as thick as tapioca, and structural damage to our home. It was Addison's first Christmas and it was the first Christmas that Caelen could read the gift tags on presents. It also brought back family and friends we haven't seen in as long as six years and that, my friends, is always the best gift of Christmastime.

My husband and I agreed not to exchange gifts, a promise that, as we all know, always manages to get broken by someone at some point before Christmas. My husband broke it the moment he got an unexpected monetary gift and he placed a present under the tree that he said would change my life. He later rescinded the extravagant words, saying it would only solve "A" problem and that I would love it, but not as much as my GPS last year. Knowing the mystery would be solved Christmas Eve night, I didn't even try to guess what it was. As we were about to head out for the beginning of a long weekend, I turned on my camera to empty it onto the computer so it would be freshly empty, ready for Christmas '09 memories. It didn't work. After 6 years, my banged up, beaten down camera finally gave up the ghost. Next thing I know, Thomas hands me my gift from under the tree. So I'm loving my new Kodak EasyShare!! and it couldn't have been better timing.
Going into Christmas Eve we knew my Grandma would probably not be joining our celebration. At 96 years old she was put on hospice home care on Christmas Eve morning. With some last minute goodies thrown together so she wouldn't miss out entirely on the festivities, we headed to Great Grandma Evelyn's house first.

And the rest of Christmas Eve found us right where we are supposed to be: my parent's living room. I have spent every Christmas Eve (that I can remember) there and wouldn't care to be anywhere else.

We ate tasty appetizers all afternoon long which, let's be honest, might be my favorite part. Dad showed my sister how his new Droid could map out the stars above your head. And I think, despite the dark cloud of Grandma's poor health and the fact that the economy has been unkind to all of us, we had a very merry Christmas.

************************

Christmas morning arrived with Auntie sleeping on the couch next to a new Disney Princess bike and very full stockings. Addison didn't join in the fun until about a half an hour later, when all that was left was her gift from Santa and a couple socks in her stocking. I mean, really, anything that is small enough to fit in a stocking, a ten month old either doesn't use or will choke on.

Caelen really enjoyed helping us with our stockings and though very unsure of the bike at first, she hopped on after a couple hours and has been riding as often as she can ever since.

After a relaxing morning watching the girls enjoy all their gifts so far, it was off the Grandpa Bob and Grandma Faith's house for Christmas dinner.

Poor Thomas had been plagued by a case of the holiday blues, the source of which he couldn't quite put his finger on, but when we arrived at the elder Klines home and everyone began to inquire after the ham I was sure Thomas might just lose it. Not only had he forgotten the Christmas ham, he never even had an inkling that he had forgotten something. No nagging in the back of his mind, he just completely forgot. But I'll tell you, he wins for recovery of the year, the tri-tip he pulled off was amazing!

The homemade eggnog was good, good and thick! When Caelen received a mug full, she promptly dumped it in a bowl and announced she needed a spoon. We got to visit with Miranda, Faith's cousin, whom we get to see once a year and who Caelen fell in love with. Caelen was disturbed by the absence of a Christmas tree and stockings, but seemed to get over it and enjoy herself quite a bit.

*************************

Saturday morning we had Eddie Kim over for breakfast! We've seen Eddie twice since he was in our wedding, and the last time was about 6 years ago. It was a great time to catch up and eat amazing pancakes.

The rest of Saturday then got very interesting.....

(To be continued)

Unrequited Love

When I have a spare 5 minutes, I'll admit it, I sit down on Facebook and play some mindless rounds of Bejeweled. It's a quick minute so if someone falls and cracks their head open, I'm not committed enough to not be right there for them. But sitting down to blog is a huge commitment and feels like a bit of a risk. Currently the girls are in the play room, eating markers and playing with toys whose batteries are long ago dead. I'm waiting for the slap of hands on the hardwood and thundering of feet to tell me they're over it and coming out to find me.......
Ah yes, now I have one trying to get in my lap and another slapping keys against my leg, but none-the-less, we'll try to get this done.

Caelen asked me yesterday "How do we get to S Mommy?" Which basically means, what comes before it in the alphabet? As I told her, she began writing each letter. When she was done I realized she could write ever letter without help, with the exception of J,U,V,W,X,Y & Z. She has been spending much time underneath ours and Grandma & Grandpa's Christmas trees reading the first letter of the packages and determining who they are for. She doesn't need any help with this task unless she's trying to read Grandma's cursive or, of course, comes across a J. :)

Addison threw her bottle from the couch this morning and said, "Uh-oh." She reiterated it many times, just to get the point across and I laughed and said, "It's not an uh-oh if you did it on purpose!" and Thomas said, "I remember you saying that to Caelen all the time." It took me back too.
Addie also consistently says, Mama, Dada, Hi, All Done and now Uh-oh. She's walking but doesn't have the confidence to just bulldoze on ahead. Some days she feels very brave and lets go, gives herself a hand and then sits down. She's walked across Caelen's room and from the coffee table to the TV many times and so I'm getting beautiful glimpses of when the girls can hang out together, play together and interact. Sometimes I realize they've been in a room together for 15 minutes, playing side by side in beautiful harmony and I feel like a real mom on a normal day instead of a mother to babies. I'm not ready to move on from the baby stage yet, but those moments make me really look forward to what is to come.

Yesterday, in the car, where Caelen and I have our most profound discussions, we were talking about Caelen's great-grandparents. She had seen a picture of my Grandpa Tom in Mom's hallway and wanted to know how many times I had seen him. When I told her only about 3, she assured me it was okay because I could see him again. I told her yes, but he was in heaven now so it would be awhile. Our discussion turned theological and we talked about heaven a bit. She said, "Well, there sure are alot of people up there! I hope they're doing okay up there."

We got to spend most of the day with Auntie Heather yesterday. At one point she ran out to do a quick errand leaving Caelen pining away for her at the window and jumping at every sound asking, "Auntie?" Finally I got her distracted and we colored some princesses together. While we were coloring I, filled with affection for my budding artist, leaned in and said, "You know who I love?" She asked who and I said, "You!". She smiled and gave me a kiss. Then she said, "You know who I love?" I asked who and she said, "AUNTIE!!" So there you have it :)

Addison Walks

Addison has taken some very cautious steps today, no more than two at a time. But when I got out the video camera she did her best walking to date!! Yay Addie!!! (PS, after she walks it's boring and I won't be offended if you stop the video then, plus I have no makeup on :)

Conversations with Caelen and Tyler

I got the priveledge of listening to Caelen and her best buddy Ty in the backseat as I drove them both to Awanas last. The conversations are amazingly smart, absolutely adorable, and carbon copies of the way their mommies communicate as far as their emphasis and mannerisms.

Tyler was spelling his name for Caelen.

Tyler: T-Y-L..
Caelen: I HAVE AN L!!
Tyler: Awesome! E
Caelen: I have 2 E's!!!
Tyler: I CAN"T BELIEVE IT! R
Caelen: I don't have an R.
Tyler: Why not?
Caelen: Because I'm not Tyler.

They were discussing dinner.

Tyler: I had Mac N Cheese for dinner. What did you have?
Caelen: :::pause::: I don't know.
Me: You had meat, green beans and potatoes.
Caelen: Oh yeah!
Tyler: Awesome!!
Caelen: You ever eat that Ty?
Tyler: Um, no. When I eat that, it's fish. You ever have fish?
Caelen: No but my dad says he'll take me fishing when I'm older.

Last conversation of the night

Caelen: When I was little and little and little and little, I fight with my mommy.
Tyler: You FIGHT?
Caelen: Yeah, with my mommy.
Tyler: That's not good, you shouldn't fight, fighting isn't good.
Caelen: I was little and little and little.
Tyler:... cuz the people might get you and then the policemen will come and you'll have to go to jail and you won't be able to fight anymore.

Synchronized Fall and More

Today was Fall. Although the 20 degree temperatures and snow powdering the visible mountains made it feel like one of the coldest winters we've experienced in Northern CA, it was Fall today. On the drive from my house to the freeway, about a 3 minute time span, I counted 16 trees that were absolutely pouring leaves. I've never seen anything like it and I suspect my neighbor hadn't either as he stood on the sidewalk in front of his house and just stared at this tree shedding it's leaves and a rate of many per second. But he didn't get the experience of driving further on down the road and realizing that almost every yard had a tree doing the exact same thing! It was very weird, and really cool. I don't know if those trees all got together and decided Dec 8th would be annual "Shed-All-Your-Leaves-and-Quickly" Day or if the below 20 degree temps last night told them all to just give it up, but they did.

**************

I think Caelen is having some nostalgia about moving on down the aging calendar. She asked me if she being a 2 year old could go to school, to which I replied that she could go when she was five, and not 3 because she wasn't 2 anymore. She asked me what came after 3 and I asked her the question right back. She said, "3, then 4, then 5....." all the way to 10. Then she said, "How do we get back to 2!!!??" I said, "Baby we don't, you won't ever be 2 again." Which prompted her pouty face and a big, "awww".

**************

Addison's words are many now! Dada, Mama, Dat (Dog), Bye, Ha (Hi), Ah Da (All done) and today when I asked her if she was all done she said, "Yeah yeah yeah!" and pushed her tray away. The other night in the early morning darkness, I brought her to bed for a bottle to coerce her into sleeping a bit longer. After she was done with the bottle she flipped over, crawled right over me and said with a big smile on her face, "Ha Dada!" Thomas was very pleasantly surprised.

She's walking as long as she can hold a finger on an adult hand and every time she falls to her bottom she cries in such frustration, but it stops the moment she's standing again. It is like a light switch and really funny. Nothing makes her happier than to walk and she's a happy baby so it's hard to imagine the joy this new skill brings her. She's also has begun crawling like a bear; on her hands and feet. I can't help but wonder if the floor is hurting her knees or if she's half way between crawling and standing?

**************

The biggest struggle right now besides keeping ourselves from freezing at home, is keeping ourselves from freezing in the car because my child is the heat nazi! Just as that heater is starting to kick in and my feet are defrosting, inevitably and I'm not exaggerating, Caelen yells, "AHHHH it's too hot! Turn on the ABC!" as she sticks her two fingers up her nostrils. I told Thomas about it and that I had no clue why she was sticking her fingers up her nose and he laughed and told me it's because the hot air burns her nose, it does the same thing to him and he hates it. So a few nights ago, I was running an errand by myself and literally spoke the words in my mind, "Ah, the heat nazi isn't here, I'm turning it up!"

***************

I love it when a seemingly bad situation turns out really good, especially for me ;) My sweet girlfriend Adria was a bit worried when she found out that her husband's company dinner and the night her parents had chosen to treat them to Wicked in the city were the same day. Long story short, she was sweet enough to invite me to come along with her and her mom and her mom's friend. It was awesome to be childless in the city with my girlfriend! We had a blast and the show was amazing, so now I'm going to read the book. Being such a Wizard of Oz freak as a child and a theater geek in high school, I had a feeling I was bound to love it!

Happy 3rd Birthday!

Happy 3rd Birthday to my sweet baby girl Caelen! I can't believe that 3 years ago today I was in the hospital in horrible labor trying to decide how we were gonna get you out of there. In some ways 3 years seems like such a short period of time to have known you, that can't have been it, I've surely known you my entire life. In other ways, having a 3 year old girl is something I never could have imagined and you're precious to me baby. I hope you have a wonderful day and a fabulous party tomorrow!

(Can't post a current pic because computers are both being retarded as usual!) :)

Quickly

Just some updates for the "Baby Book"
* Caelen can read and write her name all by herself. She knows how to write about half of the alphabet and there's only a few letters left that she doesn't always recognize.
*Addison is saying, "Ah Da" and waving her hands for All Done. She also had certain sounds for certain things like Dog and Night Night and Bye.

We're shut up with the flu, and by "we" I mean me. Thomas seems to be doing alright and Caelen just told me she has a sore throat. I haven't had the body aches and chills in a long time. I think I'll put on Wonder Pets Save the Nutcracker and take a nap.

Mini- Heart Attack #742

So after a huge fat lip, then a run in with a friend that left Caelen's face in disrepair, she scratched her cornea on her right eyeball!! UGH
Poor baby was out in the living room trying to dress herself when I hear screaming. I come out to find her covering her eye and screaming. When I asked what had happened all she could do was point to the plastic hanger that was half way removed from the neck of her dress she was going to wear. I comforted her, said it would be OK and we headed to my moms.
2 hours later she's still covering her eye and screaming bloody murder ever 30 seconds or so, so I'm figuring this is far and above the usual drama attributed to an owie. We head to the doctor who stains her eye, shines a purple light on it and there it was in all it's glory: a huge triangle shaped scratch across her eye.
She spent the rest of the day screaming and fussing and holding her "bauchie" to her eyes. She went about 4 hours without opening either eye and we had to have all the lights off and blinds closed. So here's my Helen Keller "watching" Wonder Pets.

My nerves were destroyed by the end of the day. The poor girl was in a ton of pain, but these heal wonderfully quickly as the pediatrician assured me. Sure enough, she woke up this morning and never said a thing about it!
Then she burned her hand on the fireplace....

You shoulda seen the other guy...

Here's Caelen literally half an hour before -

- she said, "Watch me Daddy! I'm tricky" and ended up like this:
She jumped over a full laundry basket, landed in it and her face went flat on the hardwood floor. She was screaming before she could stand up and by the time I got to her she was bleeding all over the place. I think her teeth just mangled her lip up. We got a ziploc baggie of frozen breast milk, put a paper towel around it and had her hold that to her lip all night (changing the paper towel about 6 times) until she said she was tired and wanted to go to bed. The next morning it was still bleeding a bit. Luckily by the end of the next day she just had a little scab on the front of her lip. I swear the girl gives me mini-heart attacks all day long.

One Piece of the Whole Picture

We're about to get pretty philosophical and very theological tonight folks.
What prompted my musings was a very common, absolutely daily occurrence in my house. Addison found one of her 4 hour old bottles on the living room floor, just barely peeking out from under the coffee table. Just as she brought it to her lips, I snatched it away gently and said, "Yucky baby, Mama will get you a new one." Man, did she start to wail! just as she always does. My reassurances were barely heard over her sobs as she crawled, head down into the kitchen after me. She parked herself at my feet and continued the crying as she watched me clean the bottle, fill it with nice warm water and being to scoop formula into it.
And all of a sudden I saw myself, only I was Addison. Wailing and moaning because the thing I just knew I wanted had been taken from me. Things weren't going the way I expected, as far as I could tell, Whoever had taken it from me was mean and spiteful. The only problem was, I didn't know the whole story.
Just as Addison didn't know the whole story. She didn't know that the 4 hour old formula would not only taste bad, it might make her tummy sick and it was almost empty. Her mommy had to take the very thing she thought she wanted away so that she could give her something better; A full, warm and new bottle. Something more wonderful than what she had been clinging tightly to.
Oh isn't that us!? We think we know, from our limited information and young perspective what MUST be best! We know exactly what we think we want and what must be right and true. But there is so much that we don't know. So much that only our Heavenly Parent knows, and yet when He takes something from us, or makes us wait for something, we holler and scream and say, "WHY!? I don't understand!!!" And if we would just quiet down a bit, we'd probably hear Him saying, "Be patient my child, I'm working on something even better than what you had your sweet little heart set on. Trust me because I love you."

Addison's Dedication

I think a dedication really must be the parents dedicating themselves to raise their children to know the God of the universe. And a great chance for their church family to meet the precious child they've been blessed with. So on Nov. 8 we dedicated our precious Addison. I really felt like it was just a sweet step in the process that began the moment I knew I had conceived her and I prayed to the Lord that that child would just love Him more than anything.

This is me, rolling my eyes at my husband in front of the entire church. The story goes like this: I told him I had a verse picked out to read for Addison, I had been praying it for her for a few weeks and had it written on an index card. I reminded him a couple times that morning to get it, he said he had the reference memorized. I only found out, right here in front of everyone that he had forgotten the reference and had no idea what the verse was. So there you go, hence the glare! :) I'm so the righteous wife.....

The verse was Proverbs 14:26 - "He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge."

He talked about a spiritual heritage and anyone who knows Thomas knows that he can talk eloquently in a tight spot, so it was all good.

No more hauling firewood for her!

The eldest Miss Kline has recieved a bug (most likely spider) bite to her right hand. It's on the side along her pointer finger and boy is she all worked up. She says it really hurts and she pitches a fit about it every 30 seconds even though we're trying to distract her with Wonder Pets. I noticed a tiny red bump there last night before she went to bed so I'm figuring it's nothing to worry about since she's not vomitting or has a fever by this point.
So we've iced it and put a Baking Soda/ Meat Tenderizer paste on it and we'll see how it goes. I did attempt some nice cherry flavored Children's Benedryl which she promptly spat out all over her party dress. Hopefully her friends' birthday party will distract her otherwise I'll be going crazy by the end of the day.

Last night Addison was saying Night Night to her Daddy. As I held her she waved to him and then we headed to her darkened room so I could walk around and cuddle her before putting her down. She lay with her head against my chest, then suddenly looked up and out of her room, said, "Da!" and started waving again. Oh I about died! She wanted to say Night Night to Daddy one more time.

An older Peek A Boo

Here's a long overdue video of my sweet Addison, who could not be a happier person if she tried.


Riding home from Bible Study I asked Caelen what she learned about:
Caelen: Umm... the light and the darkness... and rest and play....
Me: Did you have fun?
Caelen: Yup
Me: Did you hear a story?
Caelen: Yup.... About the light and the darkness.... Mom, I already told you, how many times do you want me to tell you?

Addison waves now, but only for Night night. I don't really know how she figured it out but the other night I said, "Say night night" and she just started waving to Papa and Caelen! She also does a half baked sign for "All Done" so I can't tell if she's waving or saying she's over it.
She also says, "Hi" in her own little Addison voice, and peeked over her high chair down at the dog and said, "DA. DA."

Life Lately!

I have no excuse for how busy I have been and how few blogs I have been turning out, so here's some quick updates!!

The newest member of the "commune" was added on Nov 29th - Maximus Spolini.

Then there was Halloween which we weren't even sure was going to happen since our missy here refused to dress up and go to the Harvest Party for Awanas. I had to bribe her, "I'll dress up like the scarecrow if you'll dress up!" So there you have it - Dorothy, Toto and Scarecrow.

My little leader of the pack was on to the next house before some people had gotten there candy at the current house. She said Trick or Treat before and after the door was opened to her and sometimes stepped inside and helped herself announcing, "I'm Dorothy!" No one seemed to mind and were gracious hosts to my outgoing girl. (As I hollared from the sidewalk, "Caelen come out honey! I'm sorry ma'am!")

For the life of me I can't get this picture to turn the right way so tip your head to the right. It's Caelen's first drawing of a person. She's not yet 3. The round circle is his tummy and the line is the mouth.

My Miss Addie was dedicated to the Lord this Sunday at church along with 4 other babies! She's so beautiful if I do say so myself.

And next time I get a minute I promise I won't play Bejeweled on Facebook, I'll blog!!

Special Girls

Caelen AND Addison fell asleep in the car on the way home from my Mom's on Monday, literally changing my whole life. One whole hour in the middle of the day brings sanity I never knew could exist, it's a respite so to speak. But enough about that...
After Caelen woke up she came in from the car in the garage for some lunch. As she's eating she asks for a napkin, which I promptly give her and then she says nothing. So to jokingly remind her of her manners I spouted off with the well-worn joke, "Thanks Mom, you're the best!!"
She just stared into oblivion. I said, "No?" She just stared.
A full minute later, still staring somewhere over my right shoulder she says in such a sincere but exhausted voice, "Mommy you are the best, i just don't know if i can say it right now."

************************

Once her energy returned and she was bouncing off the walls she melted my heart with, "Mommy, I just like you in my heart."

************************

Little Miss Addison enjoys the rocking horse pictured in the last blog and now when she gets on it she actually begins to rock it herself. If you're playing a game with her and you stop, she tries to get it going again. I'm sorry but when did this child grow into a toddler.

And if that wasn't enough she said her first word on Tuesday. "Up." She was crawling around and making the "Pppp" sound, so I asked her to say Up and she said, "AH-Pppp" I was so excited. An hour later my Mom comes to me carrying her and says that Addison tried to say Up again to her, but she said, "Pppp - AH". LOL!

***********************

I have mentioned before that Caelen's sweet teacher Miss Shannon has a skin cancer on her face that she's in the process of treating. On Monday Caelen received a card in the mail from Miss Shannon thanking Caelen for praying for her "owie" and saying it will be better soon and that Caelen is one of God's special children. We put it on the fridge so that we would always remember to be praying for Miss Shannon.

This morning while I'm doing morning dishes, I look over and see Caelen with her head leaned up against the fridge and her hands covering her face. She was mumbling quietly into her hands, then she leaned back and said, "Hey-Man!" You guessed it! I said, "Whatcha doing baby, you praying?" She said, "Yep!" "For who baby?" "Miss Shannon's owie."

Photos of the Week

I apologize for the quality of these photos. I don't know if toddlers handling cameras can affect the performance, but I have to wonder if one too many falls to the floor are compromising my camera?....

She looks so old in this pic, but she holds on like a big girl and I bounce her up and down. She just loves it and is even climbing over to try and get on it now.

Here's my sugar bean, but don't let her hear me calling her that because she'll make sure you understand she's not a Sugar Bean, she's a Caelen.

This past week Addie began greeting me after naps just like this. Oh I just love it, it makes my heart melt!

Today at lunch Caelen and I were clapping along with the radio and having a great time when all of a sudden Addison puts her little hands together and begins to clap in her high chair! She was very deliberate about it, it looked like it took every ounce of concentration for her to get those hands to obey, but she kept doing it! We praised her and got so excited as she practised over and over. Then Caelen was really proud when I told her she taught Addison how to clap (well she did, Addie was watching her the whole time, I'm pretty sure!)

Glad I didn't say, "Give her a bite."

So Addison is in her high chair while Caelen is enjoying her popsicle in the chair next to her, and they're staring at each other. Caelen asks, "Mommy, can I give Addison a bite of my popsicle?" I reply, with my back turned on them while I do the dishes, "Well... not a bite honey, but you can give her a lick."
Yes, my friends, I turn just in time to see Caelen lick her sister from chin to nose. She then turns to me, just a little confused and asks, "But Mommy, how is she going to eat the popsicle?"

Her Imagination Amazes Me

Caelen (crying in her carseat because she couldn't reach a toy): Raindrops fall from our eyes Mommy, just like the clouds.

Caelen: When I grow up, I'm gonna be a Jumbo Jet!!!!
Me: REALLY??
Caelen: No, a firefighter.

One of Caelen's most favorite Sunday school teachers recently starting treating some skin cancer on her face. The topical cream should do the trick but it's an obvious"Owie". In the meantime one of Caelen's favorite pretend games to play with me is Sunday School. She's the teacher and socks are usually the felt pieces that go on the board to tell a story. So one day, as proper and serious as can be Miss Caelen looks at her "class", puts a hand to her face and says, "I know you all see this owie on my face, but it's gonna be okay. Sometimes it itches." Then she got down to the serious business of teaching.

I'm just not the source of all things

When I have a day like yesterday I have to ask myself, "What is the problem"? Let's get to the bottom of this. Why am I so impatient with the simplest request, like for a juice cup refill? Why can't I handle one more spill on the ground, and why am I feeling like this raging monster inside is about to jump out at my children and scare the crap out of them, not to mention scar them for the rest of their lives and give them plenty to tell their therapist one day?
Then I realize that that "one more spill on the ground" happens in the bathroom while I'm trying to get a little privacy to do my business and theres an ankle biter crawling around my feet, tugging at my legs and crying because she wants me to hold her hands and walk with her all day. And now, the one responsible for spilling my iced tea is taking her clothes off and throwing them everywhere while I begging her to get a towel to clean up the massive puddle that her sister is about to crawl through.
The juice cup is being asked for while I'm right in the middle of a nursing session and when I say it'll be a minute, the whining starts in. And the laundry has been sitting in the living room waiting patiently just to be sorted for 3 days because I literally haven't had a moment without 5 different demands from a child on it.
Then I realize, my Caelen is not the type of child who can play by herself, or even be by herself at all. I have to go pee with her, I have to go to her room with her, I have to look for her juice cup in the playroom with her. If I tell her to go by herself, she starts The Dance. The one where the feet stomp back and forth, the breathing gets panicked and all the excuses started flooding out in an ever-increasingly hysterical voice. This drives me so nuts I'd go to Antarctica for a juice cup just to make it stop.
So Caelen is always there. While I feed Addison, she's climbing on my chair and up my back. While I nurse Addison, she's jumping on the couch 2 inches away. While I go potty she's sitting on the edge of the bathtub staring at me. I find myself racing away down the hall while she's distracted, hoping I can do any task without her following after me and asking what I'm doing. She's usually hot on my heels.
So add to that a 7 1/2 month old baby who is literally only happy one of two ways: eating (which requires much preperation and attention on my part) and using my hands to walk herself around the house. She literally crawls around the house bawling because she just wants someone to walk with her. Aside from my new chronic backache, I can't multitask while doing it! I can't pay attention to Caelen at the same time, or fill any other request, while both my hands are occupied and I'm hunched over to the ground. And don't stick Addie on a walker, or push toy, she knows what you're trying to do and it just makes her mad!
This was my day yesterday. All those examples happened and I was about to hyperventalate, or run away, or pretend I was deaf. Something, anything to get a breath.
Then, a miracle.... Caelen was playing with her Littlest Pet Shop and Addison was at an activity table and both were engrossed. I sneaked away and began to sort laundry. The only sounds coming from the play room were happy, contented sounds and I began to breathe: nice, long, deep breaths.
I only got the laundry sorted. Chaos broke out after 5 minutes, but what a blessed 5 minutes!! I got a breather, they gave me a moment. Just one and I soaked it up. And it was then that I realized, I just needed a second to miss my kids. If I could have little stolen 5 minute segments interspersed throughout the day, I'd probably be okay.
When people look back at these days (like I one day will) and sigh and say, "I wish I had those days back, " or "I wish I'd enjoyed it more," or any manner of things that make those of us in the moment wonder what's wrong with us that we're about to go nuts, they need to remember that IT WAS CONSTANT. It never ended. If you're longing for those days, then you've probably had a long breather and are thinking you could take on some more. I would be too, but right now, I never get a breather. The demands are never ending, emotionally and physically. Soon, you're running on empty and have no recharging station in site and then days like yesterday happen.

My recharging station is not a bubble bath, or a movie date or extra sleep although all those things are wonderful, they ultimately don't get me through a day like yesterday. My recharging station is getting in the Word and I had not done it the night before as I had a million other demands on that time. So I woke up the next morning depleted already. I knew what the problem was and last night I spent 1 1/2 hours in the Word and study. I'm just that weak folks. I can't do an ounce of this on my own strength! I gotta have the Spirit's power and that's just the truth. So I've prayed over today, I've blogged about yesterday to purge it from my system and I think we're ready to go. Bring it on. I wasn't made to be the meeter of every need anyway, He was.

Pictures and Peek-A-Boo

While visiting with my girlfriends and oblivious to anything but diaster in the backyard where the children were playing, Caelen ran up to me and handed me my camera, kinda like she was saying, "Here's your camera back mom." So I turned that puppy on and found 68 pictures just like this:

************************

Okay, tell me that's not the sweetest picture you've ever seen! She still takes the prize for the happiest baby even though she's super grump trying to learn to get around on her own. She's quick to forget frustrations and offense and returns to her normal self (smiley & laughing) almost instantly.

My ham! She's getting so big and smart. She got her first patch from Awanas at church and her teachers tell me she is just so well-behaved, well mannered, polite, a good sharer and quiet! Go figure that last one....

Addison never crawled so fast to date as when she saw the first fire of the season in our fireplace. She crawled half way across the living room in a matter of about 30 seconds and crawled right up. Caelen wanted to know what all the fuss was about, but of course she's been a fire lover her entire life as well. Both girls spent their first months often in front of a fire watching it's hypnotizing effects.

And now a new skill - Peek-A-Boo!