Let's Sleep in the Bathtub

(For info on the adenoidectomy see the previous post)

After a ton of cartoons Caelen wanted to take a bath, but the moment I put her in she started falling asleep. She was literally sitting with her eyes closed, swaying. I thought she was going to topple over! I tried to get it on video but got this instead. Still hilarious and you can see how mellow she is and how tired her eyes are.

Adenoidectomy

Today the adenoids that have caused snoring, restless sleep, choking, constant snot running down the face, loud breathing, dry mouth, and any number of other symptoms you could attribute to not being able to breath through your nose, have been removed from my baby girl Caelen. Good riddance!
After rescheduling 3 times we finally got her in for surgery (on her Auntie Heather's birthday!) and Lord knows I wasn't looking forward to today at all. I was most definitely looking forward to the results, but not the day, and now in hindsight, you'd have to pay me a couple million at least to do it again.
My child is the one who is always the worst case scenario. So when they say, "Oh we'll have her drink a little juice mixture that will make it easy for us to take her from you," I know that means she'll protest, spit, kick and cry hysterically while we try to force feed the meds to her, and even then you won't be able to pry her from me without a battle.
When they say, "Some kids have a hard time when they wake up from the anesthesia, they'll cry and be upset, but sometimes they wake up nicely. And she'll have an IV in when she wakes up," I know that means she'll wake up hysterical, kicking, spitting, screaming and trying to rip the IV out.
And I would be right.
I asked the nurses if she was the worst they'd ever seen, to which they laughingly replied she was definitely one of the Top 20. They loved her and told her she was beautiful and a good girl but I knew they were thinking, "That kid is crazy!"
Anyway she refused to get on the scale, she refused to get undressed, she refused the gown, or the ankle bracelet which ID-ed her. She spat out all the medicine and it took two of us holding her down to get any in. But once it started kicking in she was hilarious! She was lounging on me blowing bubbles they had given her. The nurse slipped the gown on, no protest and got the anklet on, no protest. When the nurse left the room Caelen looks at her gown and says, "I love this dress." I could help but laugh!
I carried her most the way to the ER but then the anesthesiologist took her from me and my last vision was her reaching for me over his shoulder screaming MOMMY!!! They promise me she won't remember anything.
It took about 30 min and the surgeon told me she did pretty well once she was in the room (better than their prior patient) which was the only time she did pretty well until I plunked her down in front of Toot & Puddle on the TV here at home. He said the adenoids were pretty big and it was good to get them outta there. I waited another 10 until they came to get me because she was waking up. Well you didn't have to tell me which room she was in because I could hear the hysterics. The poor nurse was holding her, but they quickly got me settled in a big chair to hold her. As soon as she knew anything, she was tearing at the IV demanding it come out. She was arching her back and slapping, kicking, screaming for a good half an hour.
We finally took it out, put her clothes on and got her out of there mostly because I think the nurses were tired. :)
She had a droopy eye and looked dazed, cried most of the way home just because that's her little personality. But as soon as we got her settled in front of the TV she's been mellow and "happy". She showed her sister all her goodies from the doctor, she's drinking plenty of fluids and even barfed up all the dried blood in her stomach. (The bauchie is almost out of the dryer). She can walk without weaving too much and she's pretty zoned out but I can't wait to listen to her as the day goes on, and to hear her breath tonight while she sleeps. The doctor said we should notice improvement even today.
Now as I sit here and write this I realize, I need a nap.

2 New Blankies

I got this idea from my friend Courtney. She bought her first child a tabby blanket at a local farmer's market and Riley loved it so much that Courtney's mom decided to start making them for other kids including Riley's new baby brother and the youngest Bishop boy. That put the idea in my head that I could do it too.
It wasn't until this weekend though, when Addison was very interested in Daniel's tabby blankie that I decided I would go ahead with it. So here it is an hour or so later (with a few interuptions). The best part (besides seeing the finished product!) is always picking out the fabrics and ribbon and things.
It's a light blanket so she can cuddle it in very warm weather and the back is satin which Caelen adores, so Addison may as well. The dots on the ribbon are lifted so she can rub them. I hope it gets well used.

I bought a ton of the yellow satin you see on the back there because Caelen's yellow bauchie has been gone now for about 3 weeks. I was setting out to make another in addition to Addison's new blankie. All I could find was the satin (nothing that would work as far as the cozy front material and no blanket edging in yellow) so Caelen grabbed the huge ratty piece of fabric and calls it her new yellow bauchie and says she loves it so much. She hauled it through the fabric store and Target and has been dragging it around all day. I think tonight when she's in bed I'll even it out and sew it so it's just one big satin bauchie since that's the only part she cared about anyway.

Froggy Fun

This frog used to scare the crap out of Caelen, so like an awesome mom I busted it out to see what Addison's reaction would be :) She loved it! Best belly laughs we've had from her so far! Then when Caelen saw the reaction it was getting she wanted to try because she loves to make her sister laugh.

The Great Physician

When Christ walked this earth 2000 years ago and healed many people, I can't help but wonder what it physically felt like. Did they feel warmth where there used to be pain? Did heat flood their eyes when they could see again?
On July 15 the stomach pains that I've been suffering with for about 10 years began to come to a head. I had been in much more pain than usual over the past few days and knowing that it was probably an ulcer or something similar I have always known the signs to watch for when things get worse. Internal bleeding would be one of the those things. After becoming pretty sure that I was now dealing with some internal bleeding (through graphic details I will spare you from) I called the advice nurse at Kaiser. I answered her questions honestly (which I usually tone down all my symptoms because I don't want the doctors and nurses freaking me out.) I had pain which caused me not to stand up straight, we were dealing with some internal bleeding, I was dizzy and she wanted me in the ER as fast as I could get there.
Thank the Lord for my awesome friend Adria who came over with her two boys to watch my girls within about 10 minutes! But during that time I prayed for the Lord to heal me either Himself or through the doctors. My faintness got worse and I was scared of passing out while alone with my girls so I called 911. Thomas arrived at the same time the ambulance did and I told them I'd rather not pay for the ride but thanks anyway! So Thomas drove me to the ER.
I just kept clinging to something I had read in my Bible study the day before. God can't make a decision for my life outside of His lavish love for me.
By the time I reached the hospital many people were praying for me already. I checked in and sat down with a nurse who asked me what my pain level was. I stopped and thought about it and said, "Zero".
The pain was literally and completely gone
and in it's place was a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. It felt good. I kept saying to Thomas, "It doesn't hurt, it just feels warm!"
They admitted me and ER doctor examined me and said there was no blood, my blood tests came back perfect, my urinary tests were great (and I'm not pregnant!! YAY). They prescribed Prilosec twice daily and are testing me for a bacteria that causes ulcers. If that's in there then I have to take a horrible antibiotic but it would get rid of it.
The pain hasn't come back even though the medication I was given isn't supposed to start working for 4 days and there are no more signs of bleeding. On top of it all, I know that all my other systems (iron levels, no UTIs etc) are in working order.

Prayer Journal Entry 4 Days Before:
* Praying for my abdominal discomfort, urinary problems and lower back pain. I pray You'll heal me and bring answers. Give me the courage to seek answers.

"O Lord You are my God.
I will exalt You,
I will praise Your name,
For You have done wonderful things.."
Is 25:1

Adventures in Food, Sitting, Potties, and Surgery

I know! I promised I wouldn't turn into a food blog, and I won't. How about a baby food blog?? ;) Yes my friends, the weather is warming up, the bathing suits are coming out, the Shastas are all in bloom and there are so many freaking green beans in our garden, we don't know what to do!! So I made Addison some baby food. Thanks to a Wholesome Baby food website and mom's tiny food processor I whipped up some steamed green beans into a little puree and Addison's first veggies were homegrown organic. I'm very proud and feel all resourceful.

She ate them too! About half the bowl was gone before she started blowing the food all over her bib, my legs and the table.


Then for our next food adventure we decided to try Courtney's BBQ pizza. Thomas had done it once with a friend by heating up the pizza stone on the BBQ, then putting the pizza on top (as opposed to putting the crust on the BBQ and adding the toppings while it's cooking). OKAY, BIG disaster. We couldn't transfer the pizza, the stone got too hot, we brought it in and it filled the house with smoke, finally we blobbed the "pizza" on it, put it on the BBQ and burnt the bottom to a crisp. Besides that, it was yummy and it sure looked pretty. You live, you learn right?



So right when Addison decided to show her big sister up and starting sitting one week younger than Caelen had been,

Caelen decides to bring some of the attention back to herself and begins potty training again. I feel like I really don't want to say anything, she's started and stopped this whole process so many times since she was 20 months old that I've lost track. But she's been wearing undies for four days straight now (diapers to bed) and that girl can hold it!! She won't go for hours and I think she must have had an accident somewhere I wasn't aware of, but no, she's just finally getting the hang of it.
I always liked to think I would never use bribery to get her to use the toilet, I mean, she's not going to be 16 and wearing a diaper, so I figured I'd let her come around to it eventually. But when she woke up Saturday morning and said she wanted her diaper off and needed to use the big girl potty I blurted out, "Great! And if you try the big girl potty all day instead of a diaper you can have a cookie after dinner". Well she was all about that, even if it is just an Oreo, that's more cookie than she usually gets. So far we've given out 3 Oreos and she's having fewer accidents everyday. Of course you never know, I could come back on here tomorrow and tell you we're totally back to diapers..... Dear Lord please NO!



The girls can play together now that Addison sits up and it's pretty cute.
And Caelen has loved getting to feed Addie her food. Addison seems to enjoy it too.

She already thinks her big sister is the coolest thing ever and if Addison is ever grumpy all she has to do is catch sight of the other peanut in the household and she's glowing. Caelen even says sometimes, "Oh, she just needs big sister. Here I am, here's big sister," as she squeezes the life out of Addison's head and starts her crying again. But the thought is kind and she's such a tender hearted big sister.

So Caelen's surgery has been rescheduled and I really can't think of a more appropriate day. July 30th- Auntie Heather's birthday. Auntie Heather who has suffered from enlarged adenoids her whole life and is so happy that we're getting Caelen's taking out so she won't have to deal with it. That's two weeks from the 2nd surgery date so we won't have any more doctor's appointments until D-Day. Continue praying, if you would, for health, complete, easy recovery, and actually, that the surgery would even happen.

Here's a couple more random pictures that don't really belong anywhere.

Already stealing sister's stuff.
Papa seriously has the magic rocking touch.

And so does sister.

Surgery Status - No Go

Alright! Caelen's surgery has been postponed again! She is sick AGAIN. She has surgery radar and when she's sees it coming she goes out and gets a cold. All the rest of the time she's healthy and well.
OK, but truely I'm relieved, here's why:
So I've been obviously praying about her surgery. We want to do the right thing for her quality of life but it's surgery nonetheless and even more guilt inducing since it's elective, meaning Mommy and Daddy made me do it and it wasn't necessary to save my life or something. It's weighty. So she gets sick and I'm thinking, "Fabulous! Just in time for an elective surgery that they really need her to be 100% well for. And I'm not pushing it if she's not healthy."
THEN Sunday night we ::: Dun Dun Dun:::
LOST THE BAUCHIE!!
No joke. It's no where to be found. The last we saw it was Sunday morning before church in our bedroom and I have no memory of her bringing it to church. There is a chance that it's there, I don't know where else because this house has been torn up and turned upside down (I did find a ball from the old ball pit. Yeah, the one that's been gone for a year or so.) So now I'm sad because her bauchie is gone (we're currently telling her it's hiding and we need to find it, she seems to manage pretty well) and she's sick. So she can't bring the bauchie to the surgery, which is a definite problem.
Then laying in bed last night it dawns on me: we're switching our health insurance around and it's currently in the middle of upheaval with no light at the end of the tunnel and I thought, "Holy crap! How much are they gonna charge me at her pre-op tomorrow??"
I told Thomas, I'm cancelling everything. I don't have a good feeling about this anyway and now everything was adding up to one big mess. He put the nix on my panic and said, just see what the doctor says.
So I prayed and prayed and prayed all morning long, then headed to the doctor's.
It was $100 and I said, just bill me. The doctor took one look at her and said we'd have to postpone again, oh and let's give you your money back, there's no reason you should have to pay for this visit. And we'll make it so she doesn't have to come back in for another pre-op. We'll just call you and make sure she's well next time. So no surgery while she's compromised, more time to find the missing lovey, and more time to get our new insurance up and running.
HALLELUJAH!

Now if we could just find that darn bauchie.

Things a mom doesn't want to forget

What a reminder of how blessed I am when this morning I woke up to two little Addison hands cupping my face. When I opened my eyes those blue eyes were smiling up at me. What a peanut!! I bring her back to bed anytime between 4am-7am depending on when she wakes up for her feeding. Usually we both fall back asleep, as we did this morning, and that's how she greeted me when she woke back up. I about died.

Most mornings I'm greeted by Caelen hollering from her bed, "Mom can I come out now?" I always say, "Of course" and inside I thinking, "Oh man, already? I don't know if I'm ready to start this day yet." Yesterday she asked the customary question, got out of bed, went to her door and paused. Then she said (and I could hear the devilish grin on her face) "Ready or not, here I come!" So true.

Addison is almost sitting up by herself now and she's reaching for things with both hands (hence the cupping of Mommy's face). She's starting to get up in Caelen's business and I'm already hearing a lot of, "NO Addie!"s. She's usually trying to grab books, toys and this morning Caelen's juice cup. I have some great pictures but I think our monitor finally died on our computer. I was not going to ever turn it off (since last time it took 4 days to turn on) but we had a power outage on Tuesday and it's still not back on, so I can't upload :(

Caelen sang at the VBS closing program last night after a hot dog dinner at the church. The pre-K kids opened the show with "God of Wonders" complete with hand motions pointing up for "heaven" and reaching down to touch the ground for "earth". She was so excited that she remembered the words and asked all night if I was so proud of her. I couldn't tell her enough.

Priorities in her Prayer :)

After an early morning diaper change at 5:00am I put Caelen back in bed and told her I'd see her in the morning. Well, she went right into her bedtime routine which is to pray herself to sleep and started shouting loud enough to wake the whole house (but luckily it didn't) "Thank you Jesus for Gabbie, Woodrow, Mommy............. Thank you God for Papa and Addie, HEY-MAN!"

I'm going to turn into a zucchini

The time of the year I feel the least creative in the kitchen is when I have an extreme over abundance of zucchini staring at me from the fridge, the kitchen counter, and the garden and I'm just wondering how the heck am I going to choke down any more of this weed? But this year I'm determined not to let any of our food go to waste. Not only are we trying to save money and keep a budget but it seems just ungrateful to waste food from your garden, even if it is boring old squash.

Now the last thing I would ever want to become is a food blogger (no offense to any fabulous food bloggers out there!) for many reasons:

1) I couldn't cook to save my life until I got married because I had absolutely no interest and being one who loves to eat, I had to step up to the plate since I no longer lived with Mom.

2) I can't envision a recipe when I read it, therefore I cook only the things that have pictures, and my recipe books that have no pictures literally never get used.

3) Basically the only thing about food that interests me is eating it.

Therefore it's striking me as a bit odd that I'm blogging about food, and I doubt it'll ever happen again but as all we've been doing for the past 3 days is dealing with squash, I guess it's an appropriate topic.

Caelen has been my big helper girl. Everything we've done, she's been in on. She's a hands-on kind of gal and loves to prepare food, something I'm sure she gets from her Grandma Suzanne and the Italians in her family line.

So far we've made:

1) zucchini cupcakes. Caelen literally poured all the ingredients in, helped with the mixer and by herself spooned all the cupcakes full. I just measured quantities and told her what to do for the most part. The coolest part was when I realized we didn't have any orange juice so we went out the orange tree and juiced our own. They turned out delicious.

2) zucchini fries (thanks to Amy C.) Some zucchini wedges dipped in egg and milk mixture, rolled in a bread crumb and Parmesan cheese mixture and baked. She did all the dipping and rolling. When it came time to eat them though she just licked the cheese off.

3) fried zucchini and squash with thyme which has been one of my favorite ways to eat squash so far (I highly recommend it: thyme, garlic, onions and squash fried up in butter and oil. The recipe also added red and green bell peppers but I didn't have any on hand)

Tonight I'm blanching a ton of shredded zucchini for cupcakes and zucchini bread, and yellow squash.

The green beans look like they're coming on strong and coming up next. I've already made plans to puree it into baby food, and freeze tons. There's nothing better than pulling out some bags of garden fresh green beans during Thanksgiving!

(PS Any fabulous zucchini/squash recipes out there?? ;)

You should've seen the street the next day

The 4th of July is my friend Adria's most favorite holiday in the whole world, even more than Christmas. Now I personally think that's just wrong (sorry Auntie Aiya) but it's definitely up there on my list of favs. Since we've lived at our house we've had a BBQ tradition of inviting almost everyone we know to come and witness the war zone that is our neighborhood during this festive Yay-I-Get-To-Blow-Stuff-Up holiday.
This year was toned down in more ways than one. I had mentioned before we were keeping the guest list much smaller due to finances (and sanity reasons) and my crazy ex-neighbors have moved their insanity to another neck of the woods, so this year was more mellow. But not less fun :)

This was the first year Caelen understood that fireworks were cool to watch. She wasn't scared at all and even did a sparkler with Mommy (until she moved it too close to her face and I took it away and said, OK all done!) We moved our fire pit out to the front lawn and watched the neighbors party hard. There was a live band 2 doors down and plenty of illegal fireworks, so Caelen and I left the warmth and company of the fire pit crowd and ventured out into the street where we could see down two different streets. We danced to the music and Oooo-ed and Ahhh-ed over the show. I think Caelen thinks that fireworks make music after last night.

Finally as 10:00 pm arrived our neighborhood actually obeyed the noise ordnance and the sudden halt in activity sent most our guests off to the comfort of their beds. The wee ones had stayed up at least 3 hours past their bed times but it was worth it, if only for this one picture :)

Oh and I say "most of our guests" because Thomas's brother and his girlfriend stayed until midnight to play a game of Settlers of Catan. It was a fun 4th, much less stressful than years past and I was so proud of my brave Caelen.

Hot Diggity Dogs

With vegetables on TV entertaining my oldest, a baby swing thrilling my youngest, and yard chores calling my husbands name, I have a few minutes to sit down and enjoy the computer. Only problem is I can't help but think of all the million things I should be doing. Like putting away laundry, cleaning the kitchen, mopping the floors, tidying the backyard, getting dressed and doing my hair, because tonight we're having a little 4th of July get together and that always means a full day of cleaning up just so everything can be destroyed by the time people go home. I say that in the best humor, we love nothing more than having people gather at our home but I've always thought I should have people come into a messy house and just clean when they're gone! LOL Especially with children.
But anyway, here I sit vegging myself and it's lovely. We're looking forward to some nice weather and an intimate gathering for hot dogs and potato salad and a few fireworks. This will be the first year our gathering isn't huge (note the financial goals I mentioned in previous blog) as we don't quite have the funds to buy the whole Costco supply of hot dogs.
And it will be the first year that our slightly crazy neighbor is gone, the one who always bought tons of illegal fireworks at Chinatown, got drunk with his buddies and sent those darn things flying every which way. One year they landed inbetween the cars in our driveway, blew up and burned my mom and sister. Another year they zig-zagged themselves right into a neighbors garage and luckily found their way out before exploding. Another year they flew up and hit the palm tree leaving us all wondering if we were going to witness a tree fatality. They also used to set off the "safe and sane" shower of sparks and hold their little girls hands and swing them through the fountain of fire. The girls loved it. 4th of July has usually sent my blood pressure through the roof in recent years, but hopefully this year will be different. Don't get me wrong, the rest of our neighborhood buys illegal fireworks and we enjoy the show, I just don't want it right next door!
So Happy 4th to all my free compatriots. Enjoy the freedoms you have now and pray for the government. Not to get all downer on you but how free are we really when it's illegal to set off a firework to celebrate your nations birthday? Hopefully they won't outlaw BBQs....

Nice & Not So Nice

As Thomas and I have a few financial goals we're trying to meet over the next few years, it was necessary for me to be in on what he was doing on the computer with our budget this afternoon. So as I backed up onto his lap I announced, "Here I come with my big bum." Caelen looks at me from another room, smiles and says with the same inflections I had just used, "..and your big tummy!"

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Thomas couldn't stop sneezing today and at the tail end of a long episode of them he said, "Ugh, I'm going to die." Caelen immediately replied, "Don't die Papa, we love you so."

It's no pizza but it'll have to do.

When your baby starts looking at you like this

when she sees you eating dinner, and she watches your every movement from your plate to your mouth while drool pours down her front and down to her pants you begin to wonder if it might be a good time to start solid food.
So you do.

Addie's first rice cereal was super watery (how they recommend it for the first time) but she quickly got the hang of slurping it off the spoon, even though at least half of the 5 Tbsp of substance ended up on the ineffective bib and therefore her shirt. She enjoyed herself and had a good long nap on a full belly afterward.

The Heart of a Child

Two days ago I was putting laundry away in my room and Caelen was bouncing around with me, chattering away. All of a sudden she hits her leg pretty hard on the metal bed frame and says in a slightly pained voice,
"Ohh.... Jesus can you please help me?"
It wasn't meant for me to hear necessarily but it made my heart almost burst.

Speak Up Addie!

I have been trying all day to capture these squeals on video. Finally on the 5th try I got some good ones. When she smiles and squeals, she's pulling her legs up underneath her! Just precious. And pardon the loud noise in the back ground, Caelen is taking a bath :)

Jasmine's Wedding

Caelen has been waiting months for this day, the day she could wear her princess dress and shoes. The special ones her Grandma Faith bought her for Thomas's stepsister's wedding.

After a busy rehersal on the front lawn of Bob & Faith's beautiful property complete with redneck cousins and gale force winds so intense you couldn't hear the stereo system, we had a lovely dinner at Jasmine & Johnny's house and went home to rest before the wedding.

Of course Caelen didn't sleep so well that night and so on the way to the wedding she fell asleep in the car. I let her sleep there for 2 hours. When I got her a sandwich and was heading out of the house to go wake her up I ran into her in the garage checking out the new puppy that had travelled up with relatives. She didn't seem too concerned that she had woken up alone at Grandma & Grandpa's.

No wedding is complete without a last minute crisis, but being that this is the first time the bride ever wore makeup and she didn't even try her dress on after my mom altered it, I guess it was less of a crisis and more of a minor problem. She's not the crisis kind. My mom made these straps for her dress and since this was the first time she had put it on since, they were a good 1 1/2 inches too long! Half an hour before the wedding I was using a way too small needle to sew through way too thick fabric the reduce the length of her straps. All went well luckily!

Caelen's favorite part of everything was probably the fact that she had "cousins." Thomas's step brother Elijah and his family came up from Arizona. We had last seen the girls when we went to Colorado almost a year ago.

Uncle Josh and his new girlfriend were there and Caelen finally wamred up to poor CeCe after telling her to go away quite a few times.

And of course there was plenty of dancing. Caelen had multiple dance partners including me, Uncle Josh, her cousin Lilia, and a little five year old boy she had never met before!

I kept wondering when Better Homes and Garden was going to pull up to do the cover shoot for their magazine. Faith's yards were perfectly wonderful and the wedding couldn't have been more beautiful. Being at a relative's house made it comfortable, easy, fun and intimate. Having a bedroom to nurse Addie in, or knowing where to go find the Tylenol for my killer headache was nice. I also spent the whole wedding barefoot and Caelen and the girls got to watch Little Mermaid. Definitely a great wedding.

A Week of Firsts & Photos

It seems like babies don't do much for the first 3 1/2 months of their lives and then they hit about 4 months and BAM! they've got something new going on everyday. So here are some of Addie's "Firsts" this past week or so.


After being dropped on her head a couple of times we decided a less vulnerable position for Addison is probably preferable, so out came the walker! She really enjoys it and is a lot more portable (without breaking Mommy's back in the Baby Bjorn around the house) since we can put her on the grass, the patio, and in any room and I'm not afraid of Caelen getting her or Woodrow trampling her.

That's watermelon. First, let me say, if you're not a mom (or are) try not to judge other moms. When Caelen was about 5 months old we went to visit family on they're 100 acre ranch near Arcata. Thomas' cousin was about to get married and we met her and her 2 girls (about 4 years and 3 months old, her husband had died while she was pregnant). We were picnicking and I was trying watermelon with 5 month old Caelen, then I saw this woman trying it with her 3 1/2 month old and thought, "How dangerous! I would never do that!! She's too little." OK, so here's Addie at 3 1/2 months old......

She loved it by the way. Nice and sweet ;)

For her next trick, Addison held her own bottle through most of her feeding a couple of days ago which was really convenient as I was trying to get out of the house for a girl's night out, Thomas was making dinner and Caelen needed a new diaper. I changed Caelen right next to wonder baby while she just sipped away.

And here's her first haircut. It's a couple months earlier than Caelen's first haircut but we have a wedding to go to this weekend (and with Caelen we were going to Hawaii). Auntie Heather gave her an awesome little pixie cut. I just wanted the bangs trimmed but Heather worked on the sides and the back as well. It's very flattering and of course she didn't care what was being done.

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Which leads me to Caelen's haircut and other random photos from this week that have nothing to do with Addie's Firsts.

We had to coax her with a little bowl of jelly beans and she said she was a little scared but she was pretty willing and it wasn't much of a battle. She did really good once she was in the seat. Of course I had prepped her all day and she kept telling everyone, "Auntie's coming to cut our hair off."

My little angel has been getting better and better about sleeping through the night, almost 11 hours a few times. But in the mornings (whether it's 4:00am or 7:00am) I bring her into bed to feed her and cuddle her and she sometimes falls back asleep until 8 or so. I don't think it gets anymore precious than that really.

Here's her outfit on Wednesday for her doctor's appointment (and swimming at Ty's and haircuts with Auntie.) The hat got a lot of compliments around town.

And sisters playing together in the play room, which is just what they're doing right now as I write this. As Addison gets older it just gets more fun.

Heart reflections from one frazzled Mama

I can't help but ask myself, what have I gotten myself into? And there's absolutely no going back. I just am not sure I have what it takes, day in and day out. Yes, I'm talking about being a Mommy.
I keep trying to tell myself that someday they'll be older and more reasonable (i.e. not doing a headstand in front of Target while crying hysterically because I asked her to hold my hand while we crossed the parking lot.) I try to give myself the benefit of the doubt (I mean, a strong willed 2 year old and a teething infant, come on.) I try to encourage myself that everyone's been there and they just are forgetting how hard it was, we always tend to only remember the good after all. I hear people saying, "Oh but they're only this little once!" and I'm thinking, "Heck yes! And empty nest doesn't sound too bad either!"
I love my girls with my whole heart that there's not room left for much else, I promise you that. Like when Caelen thanked me tonight before she fell asleep for cleaning her room (I did it while she bathed and didn't know she even noticed!) or when Addison is fussing and I come over and she stops and gives me the biggest grin and wiggle ever! There's nothing to top those moments because you can almost physically feel your heart being wrung out. No one can make you feel what your kids can.
But when the house wakes up at 5:30am to Caelen screaming bloody murder because her diaper has leaked and she needs to be changed completely and put back to bed, and I return to bed to find Addison wide awake and ready to party, and when she finally does fall back asleep at 7:30 that's the moment Caelen waltzes out of her room for the day; it's those days, right around 3:00pm when now everyone is melting and Thomas isn't home yet and I'm screaming "Don't take your own diaper off!!" for the millionth time that I think, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I think, there's not a breath of energy left in me to go one more hour let alone 18 more years. It's a game of survival until 7:30pm when hopefully everyone is asleep (and if they're not, oh boy!) and then I can mentally and physically relax, listen to the sound of no one saying, "Mommy! Mommy mommy!!" and eat an Oreo without sharing it. I can turn on the TV without it being Little Einsteins, drink a glass of wine (not "juice") and form a complete thought in my head. I live for those evenings, for showers, computer time, or just sitting.
But you know what, at the end of that evening when the house is shut down and I'm about to crawl into bed, every night we go in and look at those girls sleeping, rearrange the covers and move hair out their faces, and I take in the sight of a motionless Caelen, or a sleeping-but-sucking-on-an-invisible-pacifier Addison and I think, "Lord, I love these girls You've given me, thank You for them and thank You for another day to be their Mommy." And I really mean it, and that's when I know what I've gotten myself into and that I really wouldn't rather be doing anything else.

The June Bug

Ah June! The sun is shining, the air is warm and we've left flu season in the dust. Oh wait..... none of that is true. This past weekend saw me and Caelen on the couch with 101.5 fevers (and as I write this it's barely 70 degrees and cloudy.)
Friday night I knew it was coming. My body started aching first which really had me worried I was getting old fast. But then came the next symptoms. My eyes and throat felt warm (Thomas doesn't understand this description, he doesn't know how your eyes can feel warm ;) I took my temp and sure enough. Then the chills, the headache, worse body aches and I just felt like crap. Then when Caelen began waking with nightmares every couple of hours I knew she had it too.
So Saturday we watched 4 movies and about 25 cartoons while we lay together on the couch. Caelen was so sweet and cuddly, inbetween crying spells, but I couldn't blame her, I knew exactly how she felt!
Then Addison got a little fever, but I think we're adding up her other symptoms and chalking that up to teething.

By Monday we were recovered and this is what you do after you feel better. Make sandcastles with pretty tops :)